A despair post

Feeling so downtrodden, nothing bad but feels bad. I feel sad and need me to hold on to myself. I don’t have any hopes but feeling so sickly sad. Maybe it’s the fact that I am unable to accomplish anything, maybe because I am not who I think myself to be. I am mad at myself and the circumstances. Why am I like this.. why am I not able to pull through. I am just holding onto my seats at the edge and hoping things just go smoothly when I know I am steering myself into a whirlpool. I will take everyone down with me and make myself the victim as well as the perpetrator of the crime. On a walk, my head is down with burden, feels heavy.

I’m conflicted between a simple beautiful life or an exciting yet tumultuous path. One fine day, I find myself hopping over each of them. 

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